I thought I’d be happy with Olga… but I’m not. She and her son have been with me for a week and a half. In short, she is hardly interested in me and gives me little consideration at all.

Question

Hi Allan, How to start this? I thought I’d be happy with Olga… but I’m not. She and her son have been with me for a week and a half. In short, she is hardly interested in me and gives me little consideration at all. She would much prefer sightseeing around the New York area than settle into my home. She takes no interest whatsoever in home finances or the need for budgeting. I am not able to have an adult conversation with her. In short, I feel I have been sold a false bill of goods. She has been abusive, although not physically. I have also found evidence that she has been using dating sites for the past year, and currently has a profile on a US site that lists her location here in New York. She is conversing with a couple of men. What are my options?

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Answer

David, Thank you for this follow up and I am sorry to hear this. My wife is from Russia and we have a good relationship. The problem you are facing is everyone’s fear, and this sometimes happens. It’s unfortunate your fiancee was not honest about her intentions. There are many good relationships, but you have been unlucky unfortunately.

Here are some ground rules of which you should be aware.

The I-134 affidavit of support used for K1 fiancee visa processing is likely not enforceable against you. Certainly, my belief is that your signing that form gives little or no advantage to her. I have never yet seen any leverage she has by you signing that form. (Compare form I-864 below.)

She has three lawful choices:

• Marry you and remain in the U.S. to apply for a green card based on your marriage;
• Claim to be a victim and try to apply for a green card independent of you. If you marry, she can try to claim spousal abuse, that you abuse her. If you do not marry, she can try and claim she is a victim of a serious crime. To make either of these claims, she must have substantial evidence of abuse or crime victim status. If successful, she can obtain a green card independent of you; or
• Depart the U.S.

If neither of the two above apply and you do not marry, then there is nothing that can be done under current law to make her legal. This is true if she marries another U.S. citizen, or even if she remains in the U.S. for many years. It won’t work. Under current law there is nothing to make her legal so long as you do not marry her. The best thing to do is not marry her, not file for a green card for her, and immediately separate from her so that she cannot claim abuse or crime victim.

Collect evidence of her attempts to date other gentlemen. Collect any evidence you can find to show she is not acting in good faith. Eventually, you will want to notify immigration services. In the future, you may find the love of your life is a foreigner and you may want to try again. You should eventually notify immigration with your evidence so it is on record. I can work with you on this.

Try and put her on a plane quickly. She is in the U.S. for the relationship only. You should purchase refundable airline tickets to return her home. If she refuses to get on the plane, you can recover the cost.

Separate from her. If you need to move out of your house temporarily or have someone else move in as a roommate who can be a witness, then do it. Do whatever it takes to separate and avoid a claim of abuse. If you remain together in private, then at some point she may call the police and claim you hurt her.

Be reasonable. Right now she is just a visitor since she just arrived. If she refuses to leave and you want to remain in your house, then rent a 1 bedroom apartment month to month for her and the child, just long enough to get her out of your house. If you rent a place for her, you can then give the landlord notice of termination of lease and let the landlord force her out, then settle up with the landlord. You do not need to pay her rent for long.

I would change the locks on your door. If she has belongings in your house, then the police may require that she be allowed entry to gather her belongings.

As a final note, the affidavit of support you signed as part of K1 processing is not so serious as the one you would file after marriage for green card processing. The I-864 immigration affidavit of support is signed after marriage and is a very serious document that carries very substantial responsibilities for the U.S. citizen. The I-864 document should only be signed by a U.S. citizen with knowledge of its implications.

I hope this information helps.

Allan Lolly